Thursday 13 June 2019

Book Snippets | Diary Of A Church Boy | By Ace Moloi (Part 2)

Written By Ace Moloi

NOBODY HERE WORE the image of poverty. On the contrary, each person seemed like a star of their own show. The beauty of the women was intense and effortless, packaged in all shades of mystery. It asserted itself as permanent and not fleeting, contradicting Proverbs.

Their walk in church, down the aisle, could make Naomi Campbell a modelling fraud. Pondering their gorgeous build, calm charm and total relinquishing of their self-awareness during worship was a picture that deserved a feature in the wonders of the world.

The whole scene was visually astounding and culturally startling. It was my first time ever seeing thousands of believers gathered in the name of the LORD. It was, furthermore, my first time ever being in a space where the air-con was set on death mode, as if the day’s frozenness did not mean anything to whoever had the remote.

At exactly 9am, a woman’s voice shouted, “Good morning, family,” beckoning us to rise to our feet. The people responded with
anticipated praise, launching the service with whistling, screaming and clapping for the LORD. Every song sung I did not know. None of the songs had been recorded by Joyous Celebration or Kirk Franklin or Benjamin Dube.

Throughout the praise and worship I felt like I had been mistakenly packed in the luggage bag of a disgruntled farmer and we were now in Australia. Although the lyrics appeared on the overhead screen, just when I thought I had cracked the song, it bridged and left me burbling unknown things. Eventually I laid down my arms and just watched on as people opened wide their arms.
The camera crew was in full swing, accurately sniping moments of believers immersed in worship and displaying joyful faces on the screen.

The busiest cameraperson was the one operating the front camera, which moved like the hand of a crane mining quarry. There was another videographer who went around the church for close-up footage. There were two other videography centres: one faced the platform and the other was erected near the platform to zoom the crowd in.

Judging from the live feed from the videographers, everyone here (except me) knew what was going on. They were caught in the act of singing along to songs with the kind of excitement they just could not fake.

My recruiter must have noticed my apprehension, for he whispered to me that I must come to the evening service as it was much better. I wondered what could be funkier than this! What did he mean ‘better’? Did they sing songs normal Christians sang? Did the church have a personality disorder or
morning moods? By now I was bashing myself for coming here. It did not feel like I was in church. I was cold physically and spiritually.

I was about to chat up one of my contacts on BBM when a man jogged to the platform and
urged us to sing louder and celebrate the goodness of the LORD. He too was a man of steel. For a moment I thought he was the one with the password to open the roof for the pastor’s helicopter to land on the platform as I had heard before coming here. I was even ready to take the video of the pastor falling from the sky and show my people back at home the miracles of urban Christianity.
But, no, this man on the platform was actually the pastor. In a church this intimidating size a pastor does not just scuttle to the stage as if he is a houseboy in Nigerian fiction. Whither bodyguards? There was no chopper and no MC to praise him as a Lion. Or Tsunami. Or Cyclone Dimakatso!

An excerpt from "Diary Of A Church Boy"
A Book by Ace Moloi


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Nicky Verd is a Speaker on disruption and personal transformation, KickAss Blogger, Tech enthusiast and Prolific Writer who is passionate about igniting human potential and empowering people to pursue their dreams and take ownership of their lives. 

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